Storied British carmaker to solve dire financial outlook by becoming major player in comic book franchise
Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
Aston Martin is set to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, sources have confirmed.
Following news of its latest share price dive, insiders have revealed plans that’ll see the storied Gaydon-based carmaker become an integral part of the fictional world of superheroes and villains.
The deal is said to incorporate a series of comic books, films, and building 100 more DBXs, with bosses hopeful the agreement will solve what one analyst dubbed ‘an economic permacrisis of intergalactic proportions’.
“It’s an honour and a privilege – and let’s face it, a massive relief – to be part of the world’s biggest and most profitable film franchise,” an Aston insider said. “We have ultra-premium brand synergies which will create a potent mix of super-luxury cinematic moments such as Thor driving a Valkyrie while being chased by a Valhalla powered by a magic hammer.
“More importantly, the deal means we can keep the factory lights on.”
Its entry into the superhero world will begin with a cameo for the 1976 Aston Martin Lagonda during a mid-credits sting in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3, followed by a standalone movie for the Valhalla as part of the ‘Phase Five’ series of films.
“Being part of the MCU’s much-vaunted ‘Multiverse saga’ means we can operate in a parallel world where Aston Martin is a best-selling maker of well sorted home-grown luxury cars with unimpeachable build quality.
“In the meantime, we’re going to chop the roof off the DBX and make a run of 20 special models. We’re calling it the SUVeedster.
“Yours for £5m.”
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